I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
