Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I am one with the molecules
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
