how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My life is pants optional.
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