YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
