i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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