How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
