Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
