So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
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we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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