If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
