this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
