we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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