I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just pee around me
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
is it fun? or sober?
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