Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
