My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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