are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
