He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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