I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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