I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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