She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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