I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
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She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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