The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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