So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize