420 ftw
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
