Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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