She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
