did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Randomize
