I think I am morally bankrupt
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
