i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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