Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
