this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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