i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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