I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize