I just made out with a guy for $7.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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