you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
