these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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