i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
