Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
