My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
