Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
