Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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