You're so nebulous sometimes
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize