roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
