there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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