just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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