Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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