is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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