No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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