We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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