Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
