i just had sex bonerless
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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