she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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