i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Found the puke drawer
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
PANTIES FOUND
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