Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
